67. Stop Ghosting Your Goals
Ever feel like you've just stopped caring? We're diving deep into that subtle but dangerous shift from motivation to complete indifference. As coaches, we see this pattern emerge time and time again - ambitious women who start with big dreams and exciting goals, only to find themselves slowly disconnecting from their own potential.
What we're really talking about is apathy - that mental shrug that says "whatever" to your own dreams. It's not burnout or depression, but rather that in-between zone where you're not suffering, but definitely not growing. We see this showing up as buffering behaviors, constant procrastination, and a quiet acceptance of coasting through life.
We explore why your brain confuses rest with relief from risk, and how this protection mechanism might be keeping you stuck. The real antidote isn't harsh discipline or pushing harder - it's radical self-respect. We share practical strategies for reconnecting with your goals and showing up for yourself with the same fierce loyalty you'd show for someone you love.
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
How to recognize the subtle signs of apathy before it derails your goals.
Why consuming information isn't the same as creating meaningful change.
Understanding the difference between true rest and avoiding risk.
The way radical self-respect can replace harsh discipline.
How to break free from emotional autopilot and reconnect with your ambitions.
Why your goals being optional makes them more vulnerable to apathy.
The practical steps to move from indifference back to intentional action.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Kelle: Ever feel like you've just stopped caring?
Nina: Like you started with big dreams, writing the book, launching the thing, finally prioritizing your health. But now you're just like, coasting?
Kelle: That, friend, is apathy. And it might be the sneakiest dream stealer of all. Because here's the truth. Your goals are optional. You can coast and still survive. You've come really far in life. But that's exactly what makes apathy so dangerous.
Nina: Yeah, in this episode, we're breaking down the subtle shift from motivation to meh. Why consuming information isn't the same as creating change, and how the antidote to apathy isn't harsh discipline; it's radical self-respect.
Kelle: Yeah, let's talk about how to stop being indifferent to your dreams and goals and start showing up like it actually matters.
Nina: Ooh, let's do it. Let's jump in. This is Ambitious-Ish.
Burnout? Check. Daily overwhelm? Check. Resentment rash, stress, and a complete lack of well-being? Check, check, check! You’re not alone. We’re your hosts, Kelle & Nina, and we are here to help you feel calm, balanced, and empowered so you can redefine success, make choices that feel authentic, and ACTUALLY enjoy the life you work so hard to create. You ready? Let’s go.
Kelle: Hey, I'm Kelle.
Nina: And I'm Nina. Okay, first of all, I have to apologize. I have terrible allergies. So, we're recording under very congested circumstances. But listen, Kel, today we're talking about that just screw it energy, right? Some people might call it kind of F-it energy. It's just F-it.
Kelle: Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's like that quiet quit. We don't talk about because on the outside, everything looks fine, right? You're showing up, you're checking boxes, you're kind of holding it all together.
Nina: Yeah, but internally, you've completely disconnected from the part of you that wants more.
Kelle: Mm. Yeah, that's come up a lot lately. And let's just call it what it is: Apathy. It's like a lack of concern.
Nina: Yeah, this comes up all the time in our coaching calls. One minute you're on fire, right? Excited about your ideas, making moves, setting goals. And then, without even noticing, it's like something inside of you just powers down.
Kelle: And you're suddenly like, whatever, it's fine. I'll get back to that goal or dream, or project, or up-level later.
Nina: But later never comes. And you wake up 3 weeks, 3 months, maybe 3 years later wondering, wait, what happened? Why did I stop? And why do I feel so stuck?
Kelle: And the reason why we wanted to talk about apathy is because we see it in our clients. We see you. We see you slip into apathy. And we don't even think you notice when you do it.
Nina: Apathy is the mental shrug that says, screw it. You become indifferent to your own potential, to your future, and to your goals.
Kelle: You start with these big goals, these huge intentions, visions for your life, and you're excited and you're rallying. You start working and building and pushing, and then suddenly, you hit resistance and slide right into, ugh, maybe I don't want to deal with this after all.
Nina: Yeah, you ghost your own ambition. And then you wake up weeks later, saying, why did I do that? Why didn't I just keep going?
Kelle: All right, here's what's really going on. Your brain is confusing rest with relief from risk. I'm going to say that again. Your brain is confusing rest with relief from risk. You're not lazy. You're not a quitter. You're exhausted, and apathy feels like a shortcut to safety.
Nina: Yeah, it protects you from disappointment, right? If you don't hope too much, you can't be let down. If you don't care too much, you can't fail. And if you don't even set big goals, you can't feel any shame for not achieving them.
Kelle: And most of you listening, you've built your lives in a way that you can coast. You've got the degrees and the jobs and the family and the house and all of those big things in life, and it's like you've arrived, right? And you're kind of like, I look pretty awesome on paper. I think I'm good.
Nina: But unlike our ancestors, who had to constantly work to survive, your goals are completely optional in the world we live in today. They aren't going to inform your actual survival, for the most part.
Kelle: You can live a full life and never grow. Never create, never risk. You can be born, exist in apathy, and die having survived but never truly lived.
Nina: Yeah, you can coast through life on autopilot and still be fine. You don't have to write that book. You don't have to start that business. You don't have to improve your health. None of it is required for basic survival. But this is why so many people fall into the pattern of motivation, followed by complete indifference. I heard one of our coaches, Kel Brook, talking about this the other day.
Kelle: Mm. Yeah, when apathy creeps in, it's subtle. It shows up as buffering: overeating, overscrolling, overworking. However you want to numb out.
Nina: Or telling yourself things like, I'll start again Monday, or, I already messed up, so who cares?
Kelle: Mm, I've never said either one of those, right?
Nina: Yeah.
Kelle: You'd never skip the rest of your work week because you were late on Monday. But that's exactly how we treat our own goals and our own dreams.
Nina: Yeah, let's get real for a second. What have you created in the last 5 years? Not what you've consumed, not what you've planned, not what you've learned. What have you risked? What have you done that didn't exist before you put your heart into it?
Kelle: Because when you're in apathy, you're indifferent to your own life. You're just letting it happen to you.
Nina: And maybe no one else notices because, again, everything looks fine. You're still achieving, but you know. You can feel it. You know when you're checked out.
Kelle: Apathy isn't always loud. It's also not burnout. It's not depression. It's the in-between zone where you're not really suffering, but you're definitely not growing either.
Nina: You're playing it safe. You're emotionally disengaged, and over time, that's what drains your life of meaning.
Kelle: So, if you're wondering if you're in apathy, ask yourself this: How much concern, energy, and care are you devoting to your potential? If the answer is close to zero, if you're just riding the bus and not caring where it's going, it's time to wake back up.
Nina: Because here's what no one talks about. The opposite of apathy isn't hustle. It's love. It's devotion. It's holding yourself in such high regard that you refuse to neglect your desires.
Kelle: Yeah, that kind of care, it is discipline. But not punishment. We're not talking about being a drill sergeant to yourself. What we're talking about is radical self-respect.
Nina: Yeah, it's about showing up for your goals the way you'd show up for your child: with gentleness, with consistency, with fierce loyalty, right?
Kelle: Mhm. So, let's say it clearly. Giving in to apathy might feel like relief, but the long-term cost is your aliveness, your connection, your creativity, or your contribution.
Nina: If you've been waiting for a sign to care again about your future, your voice, your ideas, this is it.
Kelle: Yes, this is your wake-up call to recommit. To take a stand against emotional autopilot.
Nina: To remember that you still have wants, that they matter, and that you still matter, and that you still get to choose how your story unfolds.
Kelle: So, here's your homework. Don't just think about this; actually do something about it. Take one small step toward caring. Not because it'll impress anyone else, but because you are worth showing up for you.
Nina: Yeah, and just because it feels hard doesn't mean you should bail. Let's just decide now that discomfort doesn't have to be a problem, okay?
Kelle: Yeah. And also, tell your brain now what you'll have to feel in order to take that first step. Will you have to feel disciplined or focused or committed?
Nina: Or maybe just, you might have to feel self-respect, just respected by yourself.
Kelle: Yeah, killer. Yeah, you decide, and you just have to like your reason why.
Nina: All right, Rockstars. That's it for today. We love you. We see you.
Kelle: Remember, when you're Ambitious-Ish, you're actually enjoying the life you worked so hard to create because you're awake in it.
Nina: Yeah, stay curious and stay just Ambitious-Ish enough to change everything.
Kelle: And listen, Rockstars. If this episode is speaking to you, schedule a consultation with us.
Nina: Yeah, we just introduced our new 3-month comeback container. A high-touch, high-impact experience for ambitious women who are done operating in survival mode and so ready to actually enjoy the life they worked so hard to create.
Kelle: Yeah, we have 3 spots left. And listen, this is not your typical coaching program. This is your comeback boot camp. It's your off-ramp from the cycle of over-functioning, burnout, and self-neglect. And it's your entry point into a way of living, leading, and creating that actually feels good.
Nina: Yeah, it's intimate, it's powerful, and it's designed to help you shift fast with the kind of personalized support that actually changes lives. Here's what you can expect inside: 3 months of hands-on, high-touch coaching with both of us, tools that help you regulate, reset, and rise, and the structure, support, and accountability you've been craving all in one.
Kelle: Okay, so why now? Because survival mode is not your legacy. And the longer you wait to shift, the more it costs you. The more it costs you peace, your energy, and your power.
Nina: Yeah, so why this? Why this container? Because you don't need more information, Rockstar. You need transformation. And that's exactly what this container delivers. We're calling in the women who are ready to move, who are ready to stop spinning in exhaustion and start showing up in full alignment with power, softness, and real clarity.
Kelle: All right, this is your comeback moment. So, join the 3-month comeback container now. It's new, it's bold. It's next-level support. And it's your invitation to rise.
Nina: All right, you know where to go: kelleandnina.com to schedule a consultation and get started. We're scheduling into August now.
Kelle: Yeah, please do. We would love to connect with you.
Nina: Okay, cool. Thanks all. Thanks for being here. See you next time.
Kelle: All right, see you next time.
Nina: Hey everyone, if you want more live access to me and Kelle, you have to join our email list.
Kelle: Yes, we’ll come to your email box every Tuesday and Thursday.
Nina: You can ask us questions, get clarity, and get coached.
Kelle: We offer monthly free email coaching when you’re on our list and you’re the first to know about trainings, events, and other free coaching opportunities.
Nina: Just go to KelleAndNina.com to sign up.
Kelle: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of Ambitious-Ish.
Nina: If you’re ready to align your ambitions with your heart and feel more calm, balanced, and connected, visit KelleAndNina.com for more information about how to work with us and make sure you get on our list.
Kelle: See you in the next episode!
Nina: Like you started with big dreams, writing the book, launching the thing, finally prioritizing your health. But now you're just like, coasting?
Kelle: That, friend, is apathy. And it might be the sneakiest dream stealer of all. Because here's the truth. Your goals are optional. You can coast and still survive. You've come really far in life. But that's exactly what makes apathy so dangerous.
Nina: Yeah, in this episode, we're breaking down the subtle shift from motivation to meh. Why consuming information isn't the same as creating change, and how the antidote to apathy isn't harsh discipline; it's radical self-respect.
Kelle: Yeah, let's talk about how to stop being indifferent to your dreams and goals and start showing up like it actually matters.
Nina: Ooh, let's do it. Let's jump in. This is Ambitious-Ish.
Burnout? Check. Daily overwhelm? Check. Resentment rash, stress, and a complete lack of well-being? Check, check, check! You’re not alone. We’re your hosts, Kelle & Nina, and we are here to help you feel calm, balanced, and empowered so you can redefine success, make choices that feel authentic, and ACTUALLY enjoy the life you work so hard to create. You ready? Let’s go.
Kelle: Hey, I'm Kelle.
Nina: And I'm Nina. Okay, first of all, I have to apologize. I have terrible allergies. So, we're recording under very congested circumstances. But listen, Kel, today we're talking about that just screw it energy, right? Some people might call it kind of F-it energy. It's just F-it.
Kelle: Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's like that quiet quit. We don't talk about because on the outside, everything looks fine, right? You're showing up, you're checking boxes, you're kind of holding it all together.
Nina: Yeah, but internally, you've completely disconnected from the part of you that wants more.
Kelle: Mm. Yeah, that's come up a lot lately. And let's just call it what it is: Apathy. It's like a lack of concern.
Nina: Yeah, this comes up all the time in our coaching calls. One minute you're on fire, right? Excited about your ideas, making moves, setting goals. And then, without even noticing, it's like something inside of you just powers down.
Kelle: And you're suddenly like, whatever, it's fine. I'll get back to that goal or dream, or project, or up-level later.
Nina: But later never comes. And you wake up 3 weeks, 3 months, maybe 3 years later wondering, wait, what happened? Why did I stop? And why do I feel so stuck?
Kelle: And the reason why we wanted to talk about apathy is because we see it in our clients. We see you. We see you slip into apathy. And we don't even think you notice when you do it.
Nina: Apathy is the mental shrug that says, screw it. You become indifferent to your own potential, to your future, and to your goals.
Kelle: You start with these big goals, these huge intentions, visions for your life, and you're excited and you're rallying. You start working and building and pushing, and then suddenly, you hit resistance and slide right into, ugh, maybe I don't want to deal with this after all.
Nina: Yeah, you ghost your own ambition. And then you wake up weeks later, saying, why did I do that? Why didn't I just keep going?
Kelle: All right, here's what's really going on. Your brain is confusing rest with relief from risk. I'm going to say that again. Your brain is confusing rest with relief from risk. You're not lazy. You're not a quitter. You're exhausted, and apathy feels like a shortcut to safety.
Nina: Yeah, it protects you from disappointment, right? If you don't hope too much, you can't be let down. If you don't care too much, you can't fail. And if you don't even set big goals, you can't feel any shame for not achieving them.
Kelle: And most of you listening, you've built your lives in a way that you can coast. You've got the degrees and the jobs and the family and the house and all of those big things in life, and it's like you've arrived, right? And you're kind of like, I look pretty awesome on paper. I think I'm good.
Nina: But unlike our ancestors, who had to constantly work to survive, your goals are completely optional in the world we live in today. They aren't going to inform your actual survival, for the most part.
Kelle: You can live a full life and never grow. Never create, never risk. You can be born, exist in apathy, and die having survived but never truly lived.
Nina: Yeah, you can coast through life on autopilot and still be fine. You don't have to write that book. You don't have to start that business. You don't have to improve your health. None of it is required for basic survival. But this is why so many people fall into the pattern of motivation, followed by complete indifference. I heard one of our coaches, Kel Brook, talking about this the other day.
Kelle: Mm. Yeah, when apathy creeps in, it's subtle. It shows up as buffering: overeating, overscrolling, overworking. However you want to numb out.
Nina: Or telling yourself things like, I'll start again Monday, or, I already messed up, so who cares?
Kelle: Mm, I've never said either one of those, right?
Nina: Yeah.
Kelle: You'd never skip the rest of your work week because you were late on Monday. But that's exactly how we treat our own goals and our own dreams.
Nina: Yeah, let's get real for a second. What have you created in the last 5 years? Not what you've consumed, not what you've planned, not what you've learned. What have you risked? What have you done that didn't exist before you put your heart into it?
Kelle: Because when you're in apathy, you're indifferent to your own life. You're just letting it happen to you.
Nina: And maybe no one else notices because, again, everything looks fine. You're still achieving, but you know. You can feel it. You know when you're checked out.
Kelle: Apathy isn't always loud. It's also not burnout. It's not depression. It's the in-between zone where you're not really suffering, but you're definitely not growing either.
Nina: You're playing it safe. You're emotionally disengaged, and over time, that's what drains your life of meaning.
Kelle: So, if you're wondering if you're in apathy, ask yourself this: How much concern, energy, and care are you devoting to your potential? If the answer is close to zero, if you're just riding the bus and not caring where it's going, it's time to wake back up.
Nina: Because here's what no one talks about. The opposite of apathy isn't hustle. It's love. It's devotion. It's holding yourself in such high regard that you refuse to neglect your desires.
Kelle: Yeah, that kind of care, it is discipline. But not punishment. We're not talking about being a drill sergeant to yourself. What we're talking about is radical self-respect.
Nina: Yeah, it's about showing up for your goals the way you'd show up for your child: with gentleness, with consistency, with fierce loyalty, right?
Kelle: Mhm. So, let's say it clearly. Giving in to apathy might feel like relief, but the long-term cost is your aliveness, your connection, your creativity, or your contribution.
Nina: If you've been waiting for a sign to care again about your future, your voice, your ideas, this is it.
Kelle: Yes, this is your wake-up call to recommit. To take a stand against emotional autopilot.
Nina: To remember that you still have wants, that they matter, and that you still matter, and that you still get to choose how your story unfolds.
Kelle: So, here's your homework. Don't just think about this; actually do something about it. Take one small step toward caring. Not because it'll impress anyone else, but because you are worth showing up for you.
Nina: Yeah, and just because it feels hard doesn't mean you should bail. Let's just decide now that discomfort doesn't have to be a problem, okay?
Kelle: Yeah. And also, tell your brain now what you'll have to feel in order to take that first step. Will you have to feel disciplined or focused or committed?
Nina: Or maybe just, you might have to feel self-respect, just respected by yourself.
Kelle: Yeah, killer. Yeah, you decide, and you just have to like your reason why.
Nina: All right, Rockstars. That's it for today. We love you. We see you.
Kelle: Remember, when you're Ambitious-Ish, you're actually enjoying the life you worked so hard to create because you're awake in it.
Nina: Yeah, stay curious and stay just Ambitious-Ish enough to change everything.
Kelle: And listen, Rockstars. If this episode is speaking to you, schedule a consultation with us.
Nina: Yeah, we just introduced our new 3-month comeback container. A high-touch, high-impact experience for ambitious women who are done operating in survival mode and so ready to actually enjoy the life they worked so hard to create.
Kelle: Yeah, we have 3 spots left. And listen, this is not your typical coaching program. This is your comeback boot camp. It's your off-ramp from the cycle of over-functioning, burnout, and self-neglect. And it's your entry point into a way of living, leading, and creating that actually feels good.
Nina: Yeah, it's intimate, it's powerful, and it's designed to help you shift fast with the kind of personalized support that actually changes lives. Here's what you can expect inside: 3 months of hands-on, high-touch coaching with both of us, tools that help you regulate, reset, and rise, and the structure, support, and accountability you've been craving all in one.
Kelle: Okay, so why now? Because survival mode is not your legacy. And the longer you wait to shift, the more it costs you. The more it costs you peace, your energy, and your power.
Nina: Yeah, so why this? Why this container? Because you don't need more information, Rockstar. You need transformation. And that's exactly what this container delivers. We're calling in the women who are ready to move, who are ready to stop spinning in exhaustion and start showing up in full alignment with power, softness, and real clarity.
Kelle: All right, this is your comeback moment. So, join the 3-month comeback container now. It's new, it's bold. It's next-level support. And it's your invitation to rise.
Nina: All right, you know where to go: kelleandnina.com to schedule a consultation and get started. We're scheduling into August now.
Kelle: Yeah, please do. We would love to connect with you.
Nina: Okay, cool. Thanks all. Thanks for being here. See you next time.
Kelle: All right, see you next time.
Nina: Hey everyone, if you want more live access to me and Kelle, you have to join our email list.
Kelle: Yes, we’ll come to your email box every Tuesday and Thursday.
Nina: You can ask us questions, get clarity, and get coached.
Kelle: We offer monthly free email coaching when you’re on our list and you’re the first to know about trainings, events, and other free coaching opportunities.
Nina: Just go to KelleAndNina.com to sign up.
Kelle: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of Ambitious-Ish.
Nina: If you’re ready to align your ambitions with your heart and feel more calm, balanced, and connected, visit KelleAndNina.com for more information about how to work with us and make sure you get on our list.
Kelle: See you in the next episode!
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