70. Why Being Bad at Something is Your Superpower
When you're constantly learning new things, you get good at figuring things out on the fly. You get good at problem-solving. You become comfortable with uncertainty. But somewhere along the way, most of us decided that a beginner's mind was only for children - that adults should already know how to do everything they attempt.
Being a beginner isn't about being bad at everything forever. It's about being willing to be temporarily incompetent in service of long-term growth. Most ambitious women aren't afraid to work hard - they're afraid of looking stupid while doing it. They're terrified of someone seeing them struggle and making it mean something about their intelligence or worth.
In this conversation, we challenge everything you've been taught about competence, learning, and what it means to be smart. You'll discover why being bad at something might be the most revolutionary thing you can do, and get specific homework that will make you wildly uncomfortable and absolutely unstoppable.
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why your willingness to be temporarily bad at something is actually your superpower.
How your addiction to being competent is keeping you trapped.
What happens when you avoid being a beginner and what being a beginner actually looks like.
Why fumbling and making mistakes accesses parts of your brain that create breakthrough thinking.
How being comfortable with growth makes you unstoppable.
A 30-day challenge to revolutionize your relationship with learning.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Nina: Yeah, to raise your hand, bumble, make mistakes, and learn messily without anyone questioning your intelligence.
Kelle: Messily? Is that a word?
Nina: It is now.
Kelle: If you're drawing a blank, you're not alone, rockstar. Most of us have been programmed to believe our worth equals our performance, which means we avoid making mistakes or trying anything new as adults.
Nina: But here's what that programming is really doing. It's keeping you trapped in a life that's way smaller than what you're capable of.
Kelle: Okay, that's why today we're talking about why being bad at something might just be the most revolutionary thing you can do. Why a beginner's mind is your secret weapon. And why your willingness to be temporarily incompetent is actually your superpower.
Nina: Okay, are you guys getting hives?
Kelle: That sounds awful.
Nina: Right? I'm sweating. We're also giving you homework that's going to make you wildly uncomfortable, sweaty, frazzled, and absolutely unstoppable.
Kelle: Ready to threaten every system that benefits you from playing small? All right, let's go.
Nina: This is Ambitious-ish.
Burnout? Check. Daily overwhelm? Check. Resentment rash, stress, and a complete lack of well-being? Check, check, check! You’re not alone. We’re your hosts, Kelle & Nina, and we are here to help you feel calm, balanced, and empowered so you can redefine success, make choices that feel authentic, and ACTUALLY enjoy the life you work so hard to create. You ready? Let’s go.
Kelle: Hey, I'm Kelle.
Nina: And I'm Nina. And today we're asking you a question that might make you very uncomfortable.
Kelle: Okay, are you ready for it? When was the last time you felt genuinely safe not to know something?
Nina: Like truly safe, to fumble, make mistakes, learn messily without anyone judging your intelligence or competence.
Kelle: If you're drawing a blank right now, you are so not alone. And that blank, that's not your fault. It's all of our programming, right?
Nina: Yeah, because here's what happened to most of us. We learned that our worth is tied to our performance. And that toxic belief is keeping you stuck in a tiny box of things you already know you're good at.
Kelle: Today, we're talking about something that threatens every system designed to keep you small. Becoming a beginner at something new. And why that might be the most revolutionary thing you can do.
Nina: So buckle up because we're about to challenge everything you've been taught about competence, learning, and what it means to be smart. All right, so Kel, what are you a beginner at right now? Anything? Just curious.
Kelle: Oh, my goodness. So, I am going to Toastmasters and speaking publicly, and it's so fun. But public speaking for me has been something that I've always wanted to be really good at. And I'm good at speaking to 10 or 20 people. I don't know if I could speak to 100, hundreds of people. I'm getting frazzled and sweaty just thinking about it.
Nina: I see you talking to like hundreds of people easily. I just see your name in lights. It's just so funny what we tell ourselves, you know? I'm like, why does she believe that? That's such BS.
Kelle: I know. I know. It's so fun though. If anyone is in Park City and wants to go to Toastmasters, by the way, it's fun to bring some friends, some good energy in. So, let me know if you want to join. All right.
Nina: Yeah.
Kelle: Nina, I want to know, what are you a beginner at?
Nina: Oh my gosh, I am a beginner bike racer right now. I am racing bikes and I've never done that before. I've ridden a bike my whole life, a lot, but I've never raced. And it's kind of hilarious and humbling and I have quite a few invitations to show up to, mainly pacing. It's just so interesting. It's so fun being a beginner at it.
I'm also a beginner - well, I'm relearning French. So it's not new to me, but I'm relearning French. I studied it a lot growing up, but I'm about to spend a lot of time in France. I've got some friends living there in temporary circumstances and they're like, if you want to come, you got to come now. And I don't want language to be a barrier. So I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time over there and to be able to speak and get around easily.
And then I'm also a beginner pilot. I'm learning how to fly planes. And it's super fun and way out of my comfort zone, literally. I don't know how else to put it. I'm just really not comfortable with any of it, but I'm getting there. And so it's so cool to be a beginner. It's not easy. It's not always fun. And it totally expands this edge that I thought I had, and I don't. It makes me feel like honestly a little kid again. The energy is killer. It's so fun.
Kelle: Oh my god, I love it. I love it. Can I add to my list?
Nina: Yeah.
Kelle: Okay, I have a ukulele sitting right here.
Nina: Oh my God.
Kelle: And a guitar and a piano downstairs. And I really want to learn an instrument. I kind of just want to learn all three at one time, but I think that'd be a disaster.
Nina: Yeah, that's a lot of fingers doing things. I don't know. That's awesome. I mean, I can't wait to hear the symphony.
Kelle: I know, right? Yeah, I'm going to do it all at once.
Nina: All right, well listen, let's start with some truth telling here, okay? Most of us avoid trying new things in adulthood, not because we're incapable, but because we've been conditioned to believe that not being immediately good at something means there's something wrong with us, right?
Kelle: Yeah, think about it. When was the last time you tried something that you had no idea how to do? Something where you knew you would probably suck at first.
Nina: Yeah, for most ambitious women, the answer is never. Or at least not recently, we should say, right, Kel? Because we've become addicted to being competent, right? And that addiction, it's keeping us trapped in a life that's way smaller than what we're capable of.
Kelle: Here's what happened to us. The education system taught us that being wrong means that you're failing. That not knowing something immediately means you're not smart enough. That struggling with a concept means you don't have what it takes and you just don't get it.
Nina: I mean, right? It's so interesting. So we learned to only do things we're already good at. We became terrified of the learning curve. We started equating our worth with our ability to perform flawlessly right out of the gate.
Kelle: But here's the thing that's going to blow your mind. That's the exact opposite of how innovation, creativity, and growth actually work.
Nina: Every single thing you're now amazing at, you sucked at it first. Every single one.
Kelle: Yeah. You were bad at walking before you could run. You were terrible at forming words before you could speak. You had no idea how to read before you became literate, right?
Nina: Yeah, but somewhere along the way, we decided that a beginner's mind was only for children. That adults should already know how to do everything they attempt.
Kelle: It's so true and that belief, it's keeping you stuck in a life of repetition instead of expansion.
Nina: So let's talk about what being a beginner actually looks like because it's not what you think.
Kelle: Okay. Being a beginner isn't about being bad at everything forever. It's about being willing to be temporarily incompetent in service of long-term growth.
Nina: I love that, temporarily incompetent. It's about trading your need to look smart for your desire to actually become smarter, to become more capable, to become more alive.
Kelle: Because here's what we know about ambitious women. You're not afraid to work hard. You're afraid of looking stupid while doing it or failing.
Nina: Who's raising their hand here? You're not scared of effort, right? You're terrified of someone seeing you struggle and making it mean something about your intelligence or your worth.
Kelle: But what if we told you that your willingness to be bad at something is actually the most intelligent thing you can do?
Nina: What if we told you that fumbling and making mistakes is how you access the parts of your brain that create breakthrough thinking?
Kelle: What if being a beginner is actually your superpower?
Nina: Let's get practical about this, okay? When you avoid being a beginner, here's what you're really avoiding. You're avoiding the discomfort of not having immediate answers. You're avoiding the vulnerability of asking questions. You're avoiding the possibility that someone might see you as less than perfectly competent.
Kelle: But you're also avoiding growth. You're avoiding discovery. You're avoiding the incredible rush that comes from figuring something out that you've never done before. You're avoiding becoming the version of yourself that's capable of things you can't even imagine yet. And hang on, I'm just going to say that again because this is future you calling you in right here, that you have to stop avoiding becoming the version of yourself that's capable of things that you don't even know that you are wanting yet, that you're not even dreaming of, because listen, when was the last time we even dreamed, right?
Nina: Dreamt. Dreamed. Both. Both.
Kelle: Yes.
Nina: So here's what we want to challenge you to do. And this is your homework, rockstar. We want you to become a beginner at something. Something that has absolutely nothing to do with your current areas of expertise, your current zone of genius.
Kelle: It's so funny. I was just thinking, I was back east in New York and dressing the way that you have to dress to go to the country club in New York is very different from going to the club here in Park City, right? We can go to the club wearing just about anything we want to. I was a newbie at dressing for going to the club in New York. My sister had to dress me and I'm wearing all these preppy clothes and I'm just like, I don't know if this is me, but I'll put it on.
Nina: Not your zone of genius. Although you have fabulous style, right? It's just the preppy zone is not your zone of genius. Yeah.
Kelle: Yeah. Okay. So, back to what we were talking about.
Nina: The homework.
Kelle: Yes, yes. It's not something adjacent to what you already know, right? This new thing. It's not something that builds on your existing skills. It's got to be something completely new.
Nina: Yeah, maybe it's learning that musical instrument like Kelle. Maybe it's trying a new sport, whoa, like me. Maybe it's taking an art class, learning a language, trying your hand at pottery, taking up dance.
Kelle: Maybe it's something professional, like learning a new software or studying a field that interests you that you have no background in, starting a side project in an area where you are a complete novice.
Nina: Yeah, the point isn't to become amazing at it. The point is to practice being bad at something and discovering that the world doesn't end. To practice fumbling and making mistakes without making it mean anything about your intelligence or your worth.
Kelle: Yeah, to remember what it feels like to have a beginner's mind, that curiosity, that openness, that willingness to experiment without attachment to the outcome.
Nina: Because here's what happens when you get comfortable being a beginner, you become comfortable with growth. And when you're comfortable with growth, you become unstoppable.
Kelle: I'm getting fired up here, Nina. I'm just gonna say that. Listen, you stop needing to be the expert in the room. You stop needing to have all the answers. And you start being okay with saying, I don't know, but I'm willing to learn.
Nina: And that, that threatens every system that benefits from you staying small and safe and only doing things you're already good at.
Kelle: Yeah, even just saying, I don't know, it's uncomfortable to say that.
Nina: Let's talk about what a beginner's mind actually gives you because it's not just about learning new skills. When you practice being a beginner, you develop resilience. You learn that failure isn't fatal. You discover that making mistakes is just part of the process, not evidence that you're not cut out for something.
Kelle: Yeah, you develop creativity because when you don't know the right way to do something, “right way,” right? You have to get creative. You have to experiment. You have to think outside of the box. And Nina, that makes me think about that piece of paper that I keep. My coach sent it to me and it says, the right way is the way you're doing it.
Nina: The right way is the way you're doing it.Yeah. And along the way here, you develop what we call and what we love, one of my favorite emotions, one of my favorite things, humility. Humility is one of my favorite things. And not the kind that makes you small, right? Or quiet, but the kind that makes you curious. The kind that lets you ask questions without feeling stupid. Humility is absolutely one of my top five favorite emotions.
Kelle: I love that so much. You also develop adaptability, which I feel like as you age, you get less adaptable. And I don't want to be like that because, listen, when you're constantly learning new things, you get good at figuring things out on the fly. You get good at problem solving. You become comfortable with uncertainty.
Nina: Yeah, and you develop confidence. Real confidence, not the kind that depends on already being good at something, but the kind that says, I can figure this out no matter what this is, right? I got me. I got this. Here we go. I can figure this out.
Kelle: Yeah. But here's what we need to address. The voice in your head that is freaking out right now.
Nina: The voice that's saying, but I don't have time to be bad at something. I have responsibilities. I have a reputation to maintain. I have people counting on me to be competent.
Kelle: First of all, that voice, that is not wisdom. That's fear dressed up as responsibility.
Nina: Mic drop.
Kelle: Yeah, right.
Nina: So second, being a beginner doesn't mean being irresponsible with the things that matter. It means carving out space in your life for growth and discovery.
Kelle: Yeah, it means recognizing that your future self, the one who's capable of things you can't even imagine yet, is worth investing in.
Nina: Yes, hell yes. And third, here's something that might surprise you. Being a beginner in one area actually makes you better at everything else.
Kelle: Because, listen to this, the skills you develop when you're learning something new, patience and persistence, problem solving, and adaptability, those transfer to everything.
Nina: Yeah, the confidence you build from pushing through the discomfort of not knowing, that shows up in your work, your relationships, your leadership.
Kelle: The creativity you access when you're thinking like a beginner, that brings fresh perspectives to challenges you've been stuck on for literally years.
Nina: Yeah, yeah. So let's get specific about your homework here. We want you to choose something to be a beginner at and we want you to commit to it for at least 30 days.
Kelle: Not 30 days to become good at it, right? We know our listeners, so just checking you there. 30 days to practice being bad at it without making it mean anything about you.
Nina: Yeah, so here are some guidelines. Choose something that genuinely interests you, but that you have no experience with. Choose something that will require you to be vulnerable, maybe taking a class, you know, being in public, getting a teacher. Yeah, and practicing in front of other people.
Kelle: Yeah, choose something that you can't master quickly. We want you to be in that uncomfortable beginner phase for a while, not just a few days.
Nina: And here's the most important part. Pay attention to what comes up for you. Notice the voices in your head. Notice when you want to quit. Notice when you feel embarrassed or frustrated.
Kelle: Ugh, those moments, those are the gold because those are the moments when you get to practice a different response than you've been programmed to have.
Nina: Instead of making your struggle mean you're not smart enough, practice making it mean you're brave enough to grow.
Kelle: Instead of making your mistakes mean you're not cut out for this, practice making them mean that you're learning.
Nina: Yeah, instead of making your slow progress mean you should give up, practice making it mean you're building something meaningful.
Kelle: Because here's what we know about you, rockstar. You're not just ambitious about the things that you're really good at. You're ambitious about becoming the fullest version of yourself.
Nina: And that version of you, she is not afraid to be bad at something in service of eventually being amazing at it.
Kelle: Yeah, she's not afraid to look foolish while she's figuring it out. She's not afraid to ask questions, and she's not afraid to start over.
Nina: She knows that her worth isn't tied to her performance. It's tied to her willingness to keep growing, keep learning, and keep becoming.
Kelle: So, here's your challenge. And we're serious about this. By the end of this week, we want you to have signed up for something that will make you a beginner.
Nina: Right? Like that class, that lesson, that workshop, a challenge, something that will put you squarely in the discomfort zone of not knowing what you're doing.
Kelle: And then we want you to show up to not be good at it, just to be present for the experience of learning.
Nina: Yeah, DM us on social media and tell us what you choose. We want to celebrate your willingness to be bad at something new. We're here for you.
Kelle: So fun. So fun. So many emotions, right? Because becoming a beginner, that's not just personal development, that is revolution.
Nina: Yeah, you're revolutionizing the idea that adults should already know everything. You're challenging the belief that struggle means failure. You're modeling for everyone around you what it looks like to prioritize growth over perfection.
Kelle: And rockstar, that's exactly the kind of Ambitious-ish energy this world needs more of.
Nina: Yeah, so true. So until next time, keep being bad at new things and loving every messy minute of it.
Kelle: We love you. Thanks so much for being here. See you next time.
Nina: See you next time.
—
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Kelle: Yes, we’ll come to your email box every Tuesday and Thursday.
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Kelle: We offer monthly free email coaching when you’re on our list and you’re the first to know about trainings, events, and other free coaching opportunities.
Nina: Just go to KelleAndNina.com to sign up.
Kelle: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of Ambitious-Ish.
Nina: If you’re ready to align your ambitions with your heart and feel more calm, balanced, and connected, visit KelleAndNina.com for more information about how to work with us and make sure you get on our list.
Kelle: See you in the next episode!
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